If you’re anything like me, the year’s end carries mixed emotions.
There’s the good stuff, food, booze, family & friends.
And then the focus on the things we didn’t do. The project you wanted to start. The course you didn’t finish. The decision you kept postponing. The thing you said you’d do.. but didn’t.
And as we approach the new year, we do one or more of the following:
We beat ourselves up. “I’m such a loser/ arse / variation on this theme.”
We dismiss it. “I didn’t really want that anyway.”
Or we double down. Grit our teeth, write new intentions, add a massive SHOULD to doing it next year!”
I know this because I do it too. There are plenty of things I wanted to do in 2025 that I didn’t. My go-to strategy? Dismiss it as not important, followed by a little self-flagellation and recommitment with renewed intensity (you know, the noise you make lifting the heaviest weight at the gym, as if all that grunting and straining is what makes the difference).
The problem? None of these strategies work.
Dismissing may feel liberating in the moment.
Beating yourself up might feel like action.
Recommitting might feel positive.
But from experience, failure won’t be far away.
And this is where “telos” comes in.
Telos (τέλος) is the Greek word for “end”, but not as cessation. But as completion. Wholeness. Fulfillment.
Without a conscious completion, without letting go of how things went, without some form of acceptance, the task of recommitting will be that much harder in 2026.
Think of it like this: You start each year with an empty rucksack. As you move through the year and don’t do the things you intended, you add small rocks to your pack in the form of Guilts & Self-judgments.
These rocks are small, but over time they add up. They weigh you down in the form of self-doubt, anxiety, distraction.
If you don’t consciously get complete, you start the new year carrying that weight.
You’re not creating from inspiration or freedom, you’re trying to fix the weight on your back.
Urgency, proving, not being a loser become the motivators for action and not the original desire you had in the first place.
But when you consciously put down the rocks, something opens up. You can choose your desires again from the expanse of a blank page, not the burden of accumulated guilt.
There’s nothing wrong with not having done some of the things you wanted in 2025. It’s just what happened. Making it wrong is an unnecessary weight you don’t need to carry.
On my retreats, I take people through a conscious process to let go of the judgment or dissapointment around how things have gone. When we do this something happens. Eyes brighten. Bodies lighten. Smiles emerge.
And then we ask: What do we really want for 2026?
So before you write your resolutions, get complete on how 2025 has gone.
Go through a process of “telos”. Put down the rocks.
And awaken to what’s actually possible in 2026.
Happy New Year 🙃
