How long do you think, on average, a successful person stays in the positive feeling of an achievement before moving to the next item on their agenda?
I often pose this question to the leaders I work with. A couple of days? A day? A few hours?
The answer, according to research, is nuts: 7 seconds. Yes, just 7 seconds before most successful peoples brain shifts gears and moves its attention elsewhere.
Now, I’ve no idea exactly how this was measured, but if we dive into the neuroscience, it becomes clear that we need to hold a thought, feeling, or state for at least 30 seconds to start rewiring neural pathways in the brain. Unfortunately, while we’re all masters at practicing stress, worry, and frustration—constantly strengthening those well-worn pathways—our ability to cultivate joy, gratitude, and appreciation often falls short. Why? Because we don’t stay in the positive feelings long enough to truly embed them.
This doesn’t just apply to celebrating achievements. It’s just as true when receiving something positive.
Time and again, I’ve observed this during 360° feedback sessions with leaders. As I share their positive feedback, I often notice the good stuff isn’t fully landing. There’s an impatience, an urgency to get to the critical feedback instead. Especially with high-achievers, I get it—they’re eager to grow. But in their rush, they’re skipping over something incredibly valuable: acknowledgment of what they’ve already achieved.
When I sense this happening, I pause. I invite them to sit in silence (they really hate this 😁 ) to truly absorb the feedback. Notice if their mind is wandering to what’s next, then bring it back to feeling the positive words in their whole body. I ask them to savor what others genuinely appreciate about them.
If they struggle, I explain the neuroscience behind it: how this practice not only benefits them, but also their friends, family, and everyone they work with.
To add an extra layer, I’ve started ending some of my coaching conversations with acknowledgments.
This isn’t about empty flattery or blowing smoke up their bottom for the sake of it. It’s about truly seeing another person—their essence, their unique brilliance, their innate qualities.
When we take the time to acknowledge others, we give them a gift: the chance to be seen for who they truly are, not through the lens of their brain’s natural negativity bias. And by doing this, we also sharpen our own ability to notice the good in others.
So here’s your invitation for today:
· Acknowledge someone for who they are being—not just for what they’ve done.
· And when someone acknowledges you, resist the urge to brush it off. Sit with it. Let it sink in. Savor it.
Oh, and if you’ve accomplished something today-big or small-take a moment to truly celebrate it. Not just for 7 seconds, but at least 30. Feel it, embody it, revel in it. Have a little dance
You won’t regret it. And trust me, neither will anyone around you 😊
